Chasing

Spent a lifetime chasing deadlines,goals,others aspirations for me. Achieved a bit by the world's standards.Future is chalked out for me. All I have to do is tow the line; Do all the proper things, say all that I am supposed to say, when I am supposed to say and to the right person and rt person alone. THEN I shall be successful. This never relenting SUCCESSOMETRE  will be placed next to my pyre too. All the WITNESSES will either be crying ( u c dere successometre is also ticking) or cluck clucking either in praise( ref succ.....tre) or on the sly( metre should not catch u c)  saying something well deservedly nasty.
But what the hell am i doing in all this.Agreed I am no saint or faqir; I love good cars, i like having sufficient money,love all the good things of life but then to achieve those and be able to enjoy those I have to play by the rules of the SUCCESSOTHON.Catch 22 .
When wiil I get to do what I want? Now so much of time has passed since I first wanted IT that I have forgotten what was IT?Ishould be relieved BUT I am not. Even changed " what I want" many times over but could not give a slip to the RULES OF SUC.......
And I am supposedly the main character in this. Captain of my ship, master of my destiny.
Either all those BIGGIES who wrote it and left it for the likes of me were appropriate liars high on S SCALE  LATER  admired by  a large  MASS  who wanted to be at least halfway up the Scale OR
I AM FROM MARS.I have at BEST BEEN AN INTERSTED SPECTATOR TO MY OWN LIFE.
Ghalib wrote " Hota Hai Zabeen Roz Tamasha Mere Aage". That seems to have been 1 guy who didn't bother 4 de metre.Let me try emulating his guts for the evening.
 I will  prepare my first drink of the evening and for a little while put THE MMMM...... AWAY. Far enough that its ticking doesn't bother me and  the SCORE  doesn't matter .