Notes to......

I was of the ripe old age of  Three. And i had my first crush!She was fair,had an oval face,a softness where ever i ended up touching her,courtesy her holding me.I did not know it but, she was my first love.She used to wear a skirt.She must  have been, my rather elderly sisters friend.By the way i have two, rather elderly doting sisters.At three, everyone is cute but I am told i was extraordinarily so!It suits, I believe it.So, i was always up in her arms or her lap ,whenever she visited,which was often, to say the least.
And then I was Nine. They told me,if you go to the 'hostel','Dhobi' washes your clothes.His Highness, sort of agreed . Never went back home since then.Love the song 'Country roads take me home....'.Sounds nice,touches the heart but not a chord.I always go to the loved ones,meet them but never do I  go, visiting home .
Got married.Have a doting family.
I happen to be in a job,where all that one has to do is,Boss around. Suits His Royal Highness.
I was the number two man there. Sort of field job.Included interviewing people , selecting and training them for something, i didn't believe in.Still,happened to come across various suitable candidates,selected them and tried to train them.Try as I may,I could not stick to the official syllabus but , amazingly adored the trainees.All of them.
Love, the ultimate human realization.They were young,they loved me and for once I felt I had reached Home.
They are all much older now,obviously.Some keep in touch,others have not been able to.
But then there is Z, knows where i am but refuses to keep in touch.It hurts,I acknowledge.But why do i care?.After all it is 'just' a trainee.What has been my mistake? I loved all of them.Its a matter of how i was understood,differently,by each one.I don't know; i must have done something wrong? OR right? Hence, this response.
By the way, let me confess, people half my age would give an arm and a leg for what i am 'confused' over.Y ,my better half agrees.
I DON"T KNOW.Why don't i respond? Straight,the way I am known to do.It will hurt, any which way. And I care.
Let time do the needful.Like all 'happenings',I shall also pass.